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As we get older and mature, the things that frighten and scare us change. Our main fear as a child was probably fear of parental punishment. As teenagers we likely made friends, and then we probably worried about being accepted into the right “circles” of people and acquaintances. Finally as adults, we join the work force and then we’re mostly concerned about our professional colleagues and their opinions. So, our level of fear and anxiety changes as we grow and develop. In fact, it widens and becomes greater in scope as we mature. In this context, it is interesting to note what our ancestral fore-mother, Sarah, feared as she grew.
The Torah tells us that Sarah passed away at the age of one hundred and twenty seven years. Rashi (who explains the “simple” level of the text) says that Sarah, at one hundred and twenty-seven, was like a twenty year old in regard to sin – “just as a twenty year old is innocent (because we are not punishable for certain sins under twenty years of age), so Sarah at one hundred years old was without sin.” This refers only to sins that are punishable from Above (such as certain forms of the death penalty and the punishment of excision, or carat).
But, this is the question - how do we know that Sarah at twenty years old was really so innocent? Maybe she transgressed before she was twenty years old, but since she was not punishable, she seemed to be innocent? And if so, Rashi’s entire premise falls – the comparison is faulty because Sarah at twenty years old may not have been so innocent after all…
The Chasidic master, the Ilana deChaya (R’ Menachem Mendel of Rimanov) gives a beautiful answer. He says that there are two types of fear, both of them associated with the widest sphere of contacts and interests that we develop. Both are concerned with the fear that we develop of whatever is “beyond.”
The older we get, the less we are concerned with our immediate environment. We cope with our immediate environment and if there is something to fear, we cope with it or avoid it. Then, we move on. With maturity comes the realization that there are forces beyond our immediate environment that are out of our control. There are unknown factors that we have no idea how to analyze or prepare for whatsoever. Ultimately, the greatest of such forces is the One above, God Himself. Especially at over one hundred years old, there really is nothing or noone to fear but the greatest force beyond – God Himself.
And that being the case, the fear that Sarah experienced at twenty years old was not the same fear that Sarah experienced at over one hundred years old. In fact, you might say that the difference between them is the difference between fear and awe. At twenty years old, Sarah was just experiencing fear of the One above, because only at that point did she become culpable for punishment. But, at over one hundred, Sarah was in awe of God. At twenty, she was concerned that she had done something that deserved punishment from Above – such fear is called “fear of heaven.” But at over one hundred, Sarah had overcome all fears and had achieved amazing spiritual accomplishments. She was no longer concerned for her own being and her own place in existence. At this point, she was in awe of God, Creator and Manager of the universe.
And so, according to our Chassidic master, Rashi means something other than what we originally thought. Rashi wants to tell us that at twenty years old, Sarah had no sins, and therefore no need to fear punishment from God. Likewise at over one hundred, Sarah also had no need to fear God – but for a different reason. At this stage of life, she experienced a far higher fear, that was really awe of the One above. Not only did she have no sins, but she possessed the highest form of fear of God – awe. And in that sense, she was like a twenty year old, with no fear of punishment.