[Index of all Weekly Divrei Torah pages]
The process of tshuva begins with the desire to renew our closeness to God. But, in order to do so, we must pay close attention to details. Only by becoming aware of what drove us off the path can we hope to regain our unity with the One above. And that, said Rabbi Steinzaltz, boils down to three different categories.
First of all, there are the sins that we commit because we dismiss them as “little” transgressions. We don’t consider them important, and therefore, we are not careful to avoid them. We would never consciously commit such sins, but since we are not sufficiently careful, we fall into the trap, and before we know it, we have already gone against the Torah in word, thought or deed. An example might be the little words we say about another person, disparaging them even without fully intending. Or moving an object that we shouldn’t be touching on Shabbat. Or, even thinking about enjoying a certain forbidden activity. Nothing serious, we say to ourselves…and yet these are the “little things” that add up and put distance between us and the One above.
Once, someone came to a rabbi and asked him for a regime of repentance for his misdeeds. The rabbi told him to go out to a certain field, find a particular large rock, and bring it to him. Another person came to the rabbi for similar reasons, and the rabbi told him to go out and bring back several small rocks. He then told both people to go out and return the rocks to their respective places. Obviously, the one who found and uprooted the large rock had an easier time replacing it. But, the one who went out and brought back several small rocks had a much harder time finding the appropriate places to return them. The parable is clear – when the sin is obvious and glaring, it is easier to rectify it. When our sins are smaller and less obvious, it is much harder to do proper tshuva and therefore much harder to rectify.
The second category is the sins that we do because we “got used to them.” For example, one who has kept kosher all of his life will have a hard time eating something that he knows is not kosher. But, that only applies to the first time that he transgresses. After that, it will not be as difficult to transgress. It is a slippery slope that we initiate, and after we have performed the sin once, we tend to get used to the sin, saying, “well, lightening did not strike,” and then we repeat the same transgression. This kind of sin is difficult to rectify because inside, we have already reconciled ourselves, when in reality the very ease with which we transgress is itself a sin that we need to overcome. The rabbi compared this to one who has fallen and broken a bone. After the fracture has healed, the bone is susceptible to more fractures and strain. Since it was broken once, it is soft and fragile, and it is now necessary to apply special care and attention to avoid repeating the fracture.
The third category of sins are those that we commit “because everyone else does.” That is, we tend to dismiss these sins because we see others repeatedly transgressing them, and therefore we reason that on some level it must be “okay.” We may even be aware that the code of Jewish law or even of simple conduct says otherwise, but how can we go against the mainstream? If “everyone” is committing this transgression, why shouldn’t I? The fallacy in this thinking is obvious, and yet it is human nature to overlook the obvious and go with the tendency of the “herd.” About this category of sin, the rabbi closed with an amusing word of Torah. There is a Midrash that states that the land of Israel is sixty times the size of Jerusalem. And the entire world is sixty times the size of Israel. And Gan Eden (the “garden of Eden”) is sixty times the size of the world. And Eden itself is sixty times the size of Gan Eden (“Eden” and “Gan Eden” are separate concepts, as implied in the verse, “And a river emerged from Eden to irrigate the ganŔ). Finally, Gehinom (in the vernacular, “hell”) is sixty times the size of all of these entities together…
Obviously, the question is why the Midrash lists these different “territories,” concluding with the largest of them all, Gehinnom? What is the point in making these parallels and comparisons? The humorous answer given by the Rav was that the point was to tell us that “there is room in Gehinnom for everyone.” All those who transgressed and all those who served as examples for the transgressions that we should really avoid, may find a place in Gehinnom. And therefore, it behooves us to avoid the “place that is big enough for everyone,” and refrain from a particular sin just because “everyone does it.”
A g’mar chatima tova – a “positive final resolution,” including a proper sealing in the “book of life” – to everyone! Shana tova u’metuka!